I finally told my BF about my condition. Yes I do have a long term partner despite my infidelities (which was allowed by him in our not-so-open-relationship). I took me quite sometimes to sit with him and discuss. I've been very cold towards him, refused to have any sexual contact, isolating myself and he wonder what's going home.
Until one day he text me to meet him up at our favourite local diner after work to discuss our future and relationship so to speak.
He asked me, what's going on?? What happened to us?
So, yeah. I told him everything. About my HIV status, about my situation and so on.
He was shocked and he never thought of it. Surprisingly, he still love me dearly. He said he want to go through it with me. He want to look after me and keep my spirit up.
He did a HIV test recently and it was negative. I am relieved with the result. It's like a huge stone has been lift up from my shoulder.
The other person who know my condition was one of my regular bareback fuck buddy and surprisingly he is negative!! I also told about my status to Steve and Chuck. They are like my family, so I don't see any point to hide this from them. Besides, both of the are really supportive.
My family?? I don't think so! Mind you, my family is a non-orthodox-but-quite-religious type. Besides, I don't want them to be worried about me. This is my problem and I will deal it. None of them should be burdened with it.
Initially, I decided to keep my status just for myself.The reason being was I hate to be judge by people. I know most of my friends are not that type of person, but I can help to feel judged by them (or anyone). I judge myself sometimes!
But then again at one point I know that I need to share it with someone or somebody (that I can trust!!). It helps me in a way, rather than to go through this all alone.
